The Brighter Side of Darkness

A downed trellis was our only casualty.

"Darkness is to space what silence is to sound—the interval."—Marshall McLuhan

Recently, New Jersey was assaulted by the howling winds and torrential rains of Hurricane Irene. It traveled up the Garden State Parkway, jumping tolls along the way. A week later, many areas of the state are still flooded. Most of the wonderful mom-and-pop stores in nearby Denville ended up in the middle of a raging river and are now out of business—permanently altering the psyche of the town.

Steve and I were lucky that the worst thing that happened to us was that our metal trellis was ripped out of its concrete foundation and thrown down on its side—and we lost our electricity for a day.

Those of us in developed countries rarely have an interruption in our energy supply, so when it happens, it can be a startling reminder of just how dependent we are on things beyond our control. Electricity is necessary for our grooming (hot water), sustenance (refrigerator, stove) and entertainment (television, computer games, Internet).

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars."—Og Mandino

When the lights went out, we donned flashlights, lit candles, and then realized that we had no idea what to do with ourselves. Our activities were reduced to reading books by battery-powered booklights or brushing up on conversation. Undoubtedly, there will be a crop of "hurricane babies" next June. At first, the blackout seemed terribly inconvenient and boring. Eventually, I found it relaxing (less mental clutter) and reminiscent of when I was young and there was no cable, computers or Internet.

As children, we sought entertainment by running out into the neighborhood and playing with whomever was around that day. The rule was we had to be home by dark. Our parents chatted with neighbors as they did yard work. Everyone on the block knew everyone else. There was a sense of community and connection.

Denville: Flood insurance doesn't cover hurricane damage. [NJ.Com]

I remember having a very relaxing childhood. I went to school, played with friends, ate dinner with my family, did an hour of homework (only after fourth grade), watched television if there was anything interesting on the seven television stations our antenna received (Channels, 2,4,5,7,9,11 and 13) and went to bed. I also read a lot of books, drew pictures and listened to music on the radio. The technology in our home consisted of one black-and-white television, a radio and a rotary telephone in the livingroom—all conversations were public.

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."—Terry Pratchett

We were the Baby Boomers—the children of returning World War II soldiers. That upwardly mobile generation that protested against wars and social injustice instead of spending hours playing World of Warcraft or chatting on Facebook.

It's a Tilt-a-Whirl World.

My children do not seem very relaxed. They are in their twenties and always seem stressed out and exhausted. The economy is in a slump and the world is pretty grim—financially, politically and environmentally. We live in a blaring, fast-paced, electronic Tilt-a-Whirl. Perhaps it is a back-handed gift to have our power suddenly turned off, our incessant electronics silenced. Just for a short while, if we are prepared to accept it, the experience presents us with a soothing swathe of darkness.

Postal Holidays & Other Forsaken Traditions

Once upon a time, I used to send holiday cards to everyone I knew. That averaged 80 to 90 cards a year and could take me days to address, stamp and pop into the mail. Then, one year, there were some family issues draining my energy and it occurred to me that sending holiday cards was a waste of time, money and trees. So I went cold turkey and stopped sending them altogether.

Several friends were genuinely offended. Some drifted away never to be heard from again. Within two years I received only one or two cards, proving that the ones I received previously were only mailed in an unspoken agreement that "I'll send you one if you send me one." So I had the satisfaction of not only saving myself time and effort, but also helping others pair down their seasonal tasks.

Today, with the advent of Facebook and e-Cards, choosing not to do a mass mailing in December doesn't seem nearly as radical. The Green movement also tends to smile upon such a gesture. However, my desire to scale down at the holidays did not stop there. Several years ago, after our youngest child reached her teens, we decided we would no longer go to the trouble of putting up a Christmas tree. Why bother when every department store in the area had them up from late August through February? We still put out stockings, because that is part of our gift-giving tradition. Other than that, there are few decorations in our house.

Then last year, we told our siblings that we would buy gifts for all the children in the family, but not for adults. Anyone 18 years or older was on their own. Holidays are for children and the gifts that we grown siblings were giving each other just ended up in the attic anyway. Well, that was met with a lack of enthusiasm. Obviously, there was something terribly wrong with us. Too bad. We are not changing our minds and our budget is much healthier for it.

Don't get me wrong. We are not the bah-humbug types. What we have done, little by little over the years, is simplify the holidays and remove as many stresses as possible. As a result, the end of the year is a very pleasant time that focuses on getting together with family rather than gift-buying and decorating. That may horrify some holiday enthusiasts, but it works just fine for us.

If you want to decorate your yard with every blow-up Santa, reindeer and snowman known to man and put on a laser light show for the neighborhood, that's cool. We'll line up to watch. If you want to sing carols, decks your halls or mount a giant menorah on top of your car (one of our neighbors does this), then more power to you. We admire your energy and will enjoy it from the warmth of our generic living room. If you want to keep your outdoor holiday lights glowing 365 days a year, as many people do, we think that sucks, but it's your yard, not ours.

Everyone has their own approach/avoidance to the holidays and whatever works for you is fine. If you are looking to really enjoy yourself, however, let me encourage you to kick back, relax and do as little as possible. Forsaking tradition is a great way to celebrate the season!